Ok...so it has been a while since I have posted anything....I haven't felt like there was much to share with the blog world, so I'll just start rambling and see if there is anything that any of you relate to.
1. My hard working husband has been traveling way too much lately and the kids and I are missing him incredibly! We all have been in a funk and really can't explain it, other than we don't have everybody all together on a regular basis, and we are realizing how much we miss our family unit as a whole.
2. I'm struggling with my place in ministry...am I supposed to stay plugged into the Women's Ministry like I am or lay low and let someone else fill my roll? I have been throwing this around since before the first of the year and I don't know how long I'm supposed to hold out to know if it's just me or if the Lord is prompting me to move on.
3. There is a member of my family who is struggling and I can't do anything about it...I can throw my suggestions and "you otta's" around all day long, but it's not my life and I can't live it for them. I just pray for God to give them wisdom in all the decisions they make on a daily (minute by minute) basis. God is a bigger God than this problem and I need to let Him control it and not let it control me.
4. Raising my kids to be godly, respectful, polite, courteous, gentle, kind, loving, self-controlled, joyful, good, peaceful and patient (fruits of the Spirit with a few extra characteristics) is the hardest job I have ever had. There are days when I fail miserably because I do not portray a single one of the attributes listed and I'm "barking" at my kids to be respectful and obedient...hmm, let's see do you think that makes them want to have a good attitude. "God, please help me on a daily basis to be to my children what they need in order to be the Christian servants that you desire for them to be."
5. My good friend Kellye Stone just said goodbye to her mom, as she went to meet our Lord, Monday morning. What a bitter-sweet experience it was this week to know that Jan's body is restored to it's purest health, while she leaves behind a wonderful family full of grandkids and one on the way. I was talking with another friend of mine, Andrea White and we absolutely do not want to experience this pain...when I told my mom this, she replied, "Neither did I".
I'm thankful that God doesn't take our grief personally, and that he understands our pain and desires to comfort us with His love.
Ok...these are by no means profound thoughts or words to ponder, but I have been silent for most of February and I wanted to lay out there what I'm thinking about and struggling through. I guess I always want to portray an "I've always got it together" ideal, but this is more my reality at the moment. Owning up to these struggles could possibly say "I'm trying to get it together!"
I hope to post a few pics the next time...
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3 comments:
Beth-
So glad you posted on these thoughts...May the Lord continue to walk you through each of them. I continue to bring each of these before His throne with you. I am so blessed to serve beside you and am so thankful for our time together last Tuesday...You are refreshing to me!
BJB
Sweet Beth! I'm so sorry that I didn't get to see you in Fort Worth. It's no excuse, but it was the craziest trip ever.
I loved this entry, I love your realness. Here are a few thoughts:
1. I pray that God will protect the time that you do have together and that He will multiply His goodness in those moments. I pray that love will cover everything and that you will bond even closer than ever.
2. Read "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge (in your spare time!!!!). Seriously, just a few pages at a time will do wonders.
3. I am camped here with you and it is the most frustrating thing I face. I wish so much that I could just snap my fingers and it would all be alright, but would our family member grow to know, I mean really know, the heart of Jesus if we could just make it better? Wouldn't it be like telling them to work out by lifting balloons rather than weights? Not very effective, huh? God uses these times to make us stronger.
4. Can I just say what a delight you are to be around? I know that you have your struggles and it's hard being away from hubby, but YOU are a true JOY! I think maybe that is your gift from God. Whenever I think of you, I think of joy. I pray that your children will feel that as well. Let God raise them, and redeem them and you when you stumble. There's grace enough for everyone!
5. I will be praying for your friend. For you, I will give you this advice: be there for her by letting her be real and cry and experience all the emotions that God will bring to light. And if a month from now you find yourself losing some grace while she's still struggling, go outside and drop a huge rock on your toe. Then remember that that pain is not even a tenth of what this girl is experiencing. (Or just pray that God will renew your grace. :-) There's a book called "Tear Soup" that helped me understand the greiving process so much. It might be a good gift for her (and you as well.)
I know this was a long comment, but I hope it was an encouraging one for you. I love you, my precious friend!
Beth- You are so awesome.. I love your honesty, your heart, and your faith... So glad the "Awesome things" about the Beth I grew up with haven't changed...
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